Growing A Mother

Motherhood, veganism, raising strong girls and much more

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So how was your first week of staying home? I’m happy to report that we’ve made it to Sunday night with a lot of happy memories under our belt and a week of intense quality time is wrapped! Mostly, I’ve felt in a positive space this week, leaning into gratitude for our safety and our space and we’ve established a loose but lovely routine that is suiting everyone well but is a work in progress too! I miss working and I definitely miss having real and actual alone time (the kids always track me down in the house) and the ability to just go anywhere. There’s also an undercurrent of sadness and “what the hell is happening?!” that crops up several times a day in my mind. At times I’ve found myself feeling frustrated, crowded, resentful, worried and annoyed but then I remind myself that all of this is temporary and entirely necessary. This is no time to have a pity party (which is totally different from expressing difficult emotions in a healthy way.) This new role I find myself in of being Mum 24/7 has in many ways been incredibly meaningful, purposeful and motivating. Making plans for the day ahead, adding some beautiful rituals into our day and just generally slowing down together has taught me so much already and there is a part of me that is looking forward to the challenge of another week. Just me?! Week 2...we are ready. How about you? #socialdistancing #covid19uk #stayhome #stayinghome #raisinggirls #girlmama #joyfulmama #abeautifulchildhood #findingthepositives #homeschool #sisters #sisterlylove #jasminehannah #summerjacqueline #growingamother #parentingishard #parentingisjoyful #thankyou2020 #sundaynight #selfcaresunday #motherhoodismagic

Have you surprised yourself this week? Have you shown up with even more creativity and energy than you ever thought you could? Have you put on a brave face and played harder than ever? Have you experienced joyful moments so amazing that they’re now etched in your heart forever? Have you proved to yourself how much more capable you are than you’ve realised? Have you heard your children continue to laugh again and again and again? Have you slowed down because there is nowhere else to be? Have you been softer, kinder and more gentle? Have you been juggling too many played but somehow kept them all spinning? Have you done things you’d never usually do and enjoyed them more because of it? Have you found more reasons to celebrate life and the family you’ve made? Have you felt a deeper sense of purpose and meaning as a parent? Have you felt proud of yourself and your kids? Have you stopped for a moment just to take this all in? Take it all in. The good, the bad and the difficult. Take it all in. You are doing this. You are creating the stories of their future. We did not choose this reality but we can embrace as much as we can of it too. And tomorrow...we get to wake up and do it all over again! 🤪🌸💗🙏🏻🌺🥰🌼🤪 #stayhome #socialdistancing #joyfulmama #joyfulmamas #abeautifulchildhood #peacefulparenting #consciousparenting #spiritualawakening #everydaylessons #mindfulparenting #mindfulparent #mindfulmama #mindfulnesspractice #takedeepbreaths #theuniversehasyourback #healer #selfhealers #shabbatshalom

Let beauty come out of ashes 🌸 It may be a lyric from a @celinedion song (she’s my fave by the way) but it’s been playing in my head for days because it is so strikingly fitting. There is death, chaos, panic and fear enveloping the entire population and yet so many of us are finding beauty in the smaller things. We are finding reasons to be even more deeply thankful and learning to appreciate the things we so often took for granted. We are being forced to slow down because there is nowhere else to be. We did not choose this situation and nor can we control it. We may wish that we could’ve experienced this clarity or this intense gratitude on our own and without a global crisis forcing us to view our lives differently, but that’s not the way it has unfolded for us and so if we can find the positives, then we must. In fact I believe it’s vital to find the beauty here. So we must find the light amidst the dark. The reasons to smile. The beauty that comes out of the ashes. It’ll be those very things that get us through long days and uncertain weeks and it’ll be those very things we look back on with a smile when we’re no longer in this space. There are people out there fighting for us all. “Watching all our dreams go up in smoke....can beauty come out of ashes? Can beauty come out of ashes?” #covid_19 #covid19uk #canbeautycomeoutofashes #chasetherainbow #findthelight #thebrightside #gratitudeattitude #gratitudepractice #raisinggirls #stayhome #growingamother #sunsetview #happymoments #myjoyfulday #mysunshine #summerjacqueline #girlmama #coronacrisis #supportsystem #findthebeauty #joyfulmama

Today was a good day 🌼 Today I felt the fog of last week lifting slightly and I felt myself emerging from deep sadness. Whilst I’m acutely aware of the outside world and everything going on there, my own little bubble is now a happier place and for that, I’m truly grateful. Part of the journey towards accepting this new and temporary way of living was to let myself deeply feel what I needed to, and that was sadness. Grief. Deep emotions. I knew at the time I’d come out of it but yet I couldn’t feel it at the time. When I was offered a positive perspective or something to smile about, I couldn’t take them in for I was wrapped up about my own losses, the change in my world and that of my daughters. And that’s OK. I forgive myself entirely for that because it was something I needed to work through, and continue to do on a daily basis. We are not expected to be hit with a global crisis and smile our way through it from day 1. Not at all. 🌼 I’m no longer holding the victim card (although there is validation in everyone’s unique and relative experience of this crisis) and I’m no longer spending my time focussing on what I’ve lost. I spent enough time there. Instead I’m able to focus on what others are giving so that I can stay safely at home with my family. I’m focusing on the joy in just that too. I’m more able to appreciate everything that is helping us to navigate these days more smoothly and I’m able to breathe just a little bit deeper. I’m feeling positive, uplifted even, inspired and purposeful. Perhaps I’ll feel this way for a while, perhaps not. Each day will be different with what unfolds in the news, in our family, with the cycles of the moon and the inevitable rollercoaster that is the inside of my mind. But if you’re still deep in sadness, that’s OK too. It will pass when it’s ready and it may then come again. Take a baby step forward then another one after that and another one after that. Sending you love, wherever you are #corona #empathsbelike #growingamother #validation #grieving #socialdistancing #motherhoodishard #covid19uk #joyfulmama #feelingoptimistic #vitamindtherapy #selfhealers #healer #lightworker #healingthroughwords

I’ve never been more grateful for sunshine and blue skies, for trees and singing birds and for fresh air in our lungs. We may be on “lockdown” but in reality we still have so much freedom. How many of us are going to make sure we get outside to exercise once a day when usually we wouldn’t, just because the opportunity is now limited? Because the value on our so called freedom is now so high? Because we realise more then ever how much it all means to us? And we’re only at the start. This is a big change for us all but doesn’t it just highlight how much we already have. For so many around the world, a walk outside is not an option. Safety is not a privilege. Fresh air is non existent. And for our non-human friends, my heart feels so heavy right now because their whole lives are lived in lockdown. Their freedom and their privileges (if any) are dictated by others every single day. Many never, ever see the outside world or breathe fresh air or see the sun, perhaps until the day they’re driven to their deaths. Billions of animals are now living in lockdown in factory farms, in zoos and aquariums, in fish farms, in testing centres and the list goes on. They never have and will never have their freedom or the life that they deserve and I’m giving those creatures my heart today, and everyday. I am so grateful for freedom and outside space, for this is something we should never ever take for granted. #vegan #veganforthem #veganfortheanimals #enslaved #forthevoiceless #veganmummy #veganmama #veganfamily #freshair #lockdown #covid19uk #freedom #thingswetakeforgranted #naturemama #earthmama #ethicalvegan #vegankids #veganfamily #noplanetb #formotherearth #motherearthlove

Acceptance 😌 I’m getting there, slowly, but there are many bumps in the road, understandably. This is a huge and unprecedented change and to accept it fully in an instant takes something special! I was (and still am) in a place of grief, of sadness, of deep resistance for some time. I examined that in myself and I recognised my fears. I leaned into the why. The fear that it would be too difficult and that I couldn’t do it and the fear that somehow within all this, my children would suffer in some way. That there would be some trauma. That they would resent me. That fear led me to resist what I knew was coming. I literally felt my mind and body move through the stages of grief, yet we aren’t the ones who have lost anyone. I was (am) grieving the loss of my future as I saw it, and that of my kids. I’m just sharing my truth because it’s all a process here, it’s all new and perhaps it might resonate...or not. We all parent differently. My biggest challenge is to separate what is mine and what is Jasmine and Summers. What is my knowledge, experience and emotions is not theirs too. They are separate. I feel for them so deeply but that doesn’t reflect what’s true for them. I’m thankful for their innocence, their youth and their model of acceptance. Resistance gets us nowhere fast but I understand why it shows up, especially now. Why would we want to accept this situation? Why would we want to lockdown if we didn’t have to? Why would be choose to make these enormous sacrifices, even with the knowledge staring us in the face. Resistance instead of acceptance. So we’re here and we’re accepting and I am finding so much joy and gratitude already having barely even begun. So much joy and gratitude. Yet now, every time I find a ray of sunshine, I realise it exists in parallel to others suffering. Deeply suffering. So it becomes tinged. Maybe it’s guilt. Maybe it’s sadness, again. But either way I will look for that sunshine because it’s so essential. I’m leaning into this I’m learning I’m growing I’m recognising myself I’m feeling deeply I’m letting go...bit by bit. #acceptance #griefjourney #covid19uk #parentingishard #ukmummy #stayhomesavelives #awakening #empath

A Mother’s Day tribute... I see you. Doubting yourself at this time. Doubting how you’re going to get through the uncertainty. Doubting how you’re going to do everything and more that is now being asked of you. More in many ways, than ever. I see your fear and I feel your sadness. For the loss at what should have been, for the difficult explanations we need to give and for all the disappointments, the almost constant overwhelm and the putting on of a brave face. Perhaps it’s not just schools and nurseries closing that we fear, the lack of support, structure and routine that brings. The breathing space we rely on. Perhaps it’s not only the indefinite long days that will come, without playgrounds, play dates, family and the usual things that give us life. Perhaps it’s the change and the need to navigate a new path for a while. Perhaps it’s the enormity of what we’re facing and the responsibility of it all that weighs most on our hearts right now. And we don’t believe in ourselves enough to think that we can do it because we’ve never been called upon in this way. But let me tell you something. We are capable. We are so beyond capable of managing and even thriving in this situation. There are generations of Mothers’ strength that we can draw on. There is a collective wisdom so profound that it will rise us up. There is inspiration around every corner, if we see it. Never have I seen Mothers pull together more than in these past few weeks. Never have I seen social media used with such purpose, to support one another, to share ideas, to offer advice, to live stream yoga practices and to say in whatever way, “this is going to be OK.” Never have our WhatsApp messages been so busy as with all the support that has flooded in from everyone who just knows, who gets IT. We understand. We understand each other and the mountain we are being asked to climb. We understand the worries we have not only for ourselves but for our children too. But we are capable. We are endlessly resourceful, creative and strong. We have an abundance of LOVE to give and a love that is stronger than any other can see us through this difficult time. Continued in comments....

We’ve put our rainbow in the window for anyone walking past to see 🌈 We saw this idea from Spain on social media and we love it! If everyone puts a rainbow in their window, we’ll all have beautiful things to look at when we’re out walking at a distance 😊 We can’t wait to see as many as possible so get yours up!! #rainbow #somewhereovertherainbow #windowrainbow #covid19 #corona #isolation #socialdistancing #socialdistance #smiletoday #smiling #turnthatfrownupsidedown #loveistheanswer #bigmagic #families #allthecoloursoftherainbow

The best moment of my day! Summer has learnt her own name and we love asking her to say it over and over again because it is just the cutest 🤣🤣🤣 There is so so much I want to say right now. My brain has been working overdrive to process and make sense of what’s happening now and what the future might look like not only for our little family but for the whole world too. It’s both a blessing and a curse to be so sensitive at times like this. I am crying most days at some point, not because I can’t find positives or things to be grateful for but just because it allows me to release a lot of emotion. It is hard right now. I can’t imagine there’s many people on the planet who are feeling totally at ease be that because of corona or because of another crisis. The global energy is heavy and it is on an individual level too. I’ve been writing things down all day and most of my musings are driven by deep emotion and deep thinking but I think by now you all know to expect that from me! There’s something so difficult yet strangely alluring about being in that place of pain, of sadness, of life. But we must do the work to come out of it too and this little clip of my Summer (also known as Simmy by @bearded.vegan.dad) helps me do just that. I’ll be here writing my words because that’s the thing that comes most naturally to me and I hope you’ll allow me to indulge in my emotions! #summerjacqueline #summer2020 #girlmum #raisinggirls #highlysensitiveperson #highlysensitive #globalcrisis #coronavirüs #covid2019 #writingmylife #diaryentry #musings #empathsbelike #empathproblems #daughter #imsummer #summer2020

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